There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.